…then why do I keep doing dumb things?

I’ve had a Dahon Boardwalk folding bicycle for at least two years now and unfortunately its primary role has been to catch dust behind my couch. It is one of the many gizmos that I’ve bought then leave in the proverbial toybox after the glow has worn off. It’s a sickness and I should get help, maybe I could start a Gadgets Anonymous chapter.

“Hi, I’m Michael and I’m a gadgetaholic. Welcome Michael.”

What can I say? I’m a sucker for good design and Dahon makes a very well designed folding bike. The Boardwalk is comfortable and nimble to ride and it folds down to a little over two square feet. How cool it that? The only complaint I have against it is I wish it were lighter. At 27 pounds, it’s a little heavy to carry up two flights of stairs especially after a vigorous ride. Vigorous, in this case, means the rider is both out of shape and over ambitious.

I dusted off the Boardwalk yesterday and decided to take it out for a ride. My goal was to check out Water Taxi Beach over in Long Island City. Water Taxi Beach is a faux beach created by dumping a few loads of sand on the bank of the East River. It’s run by the New York Water Taxi which operates a dock there. Besides the “beach”, they have an upscale concession stand serving elk burgers and other goodies plus a DJ in case you want to dance. Long Island City is just over the Pulaski bridge in Queens from my home neighborhood of Greenpoint so it would be an easy ride.

Too easy as it would turn out because once I got over to LIC and investigated the “beach”(verdict: not for me), the Queensborough Bridge beckoned in the distance and I couldn’t say no. The Queensborough or 59th St. Bridge as it’s also known is not a bridge that I get to see very often. The name comes from the fact that it connects the borough of Queens to Manhattan at 59th St over the East River. It’s a pretty impressive bridge because it looks as if someone used a giant Erector Set to build it. And I mean that in the most literal sense. The bridge has a very handmade “we’re making this up as we go along” feel to it. I remembered that there’s a park right underneath it so off I go using the East River to my left as a guide.

I arrive at the Queensborough Bridge and wind my way through the park which has incredible views from the base of the bridge and also of the east side of Manhattan. I’m still feeling pretty confident about my stamina at this point so I continue north along the Queens side of the East River. What do I come across but a short bridge to Roosevelt Island that I didn’t even know existed. Ever the explorer, across the bridge I go. I know Roosevelt Island isn’t that big so I decide to circle the whole island. There are stunning views of both Manhattan and Queens from the island because it sits in the middle of the East River. I also discovered there’s a little lighthouse on the north end of it.

After I get about half way around the island it begins to dawn on me that I still have to ride home. My butt was very helpful in this realization as it was starting to get sore and make inquiries with my brain about exactly what the h*ll I was doing. I suppose I could have taken the easy way out and cut across the island but I can be very goal oriented and I had already made the decision to circle the island so the matter was closed. I think it was at that point that my butt became very unhappy with my brain. It’s still complaining even today.

I completed my circumnavigation of Roosevelt Island, crossed the bridge back to Queens, and began the journey home. I was feeling pretty weak by now because I hadn’t had much to eat that day but I caught a lucky break. I came upon a street vendor selling italian ices so I bought a cherry one and downed the frozen sugar water like there was no tomorrow. Thank goodness for simple carbohydrates and street vendors too!

The rest of the trip home was uneventful but it was quite tiring. I got home, lugged the bike upstairs, and then drank about a gallon of water. I’m sure there’s a moral to this story but I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it has something to do with the dangers of gadgets or ignoring bicycles? Or maybe it’s just that my butt is smarter than my brain and next time I should listen to it.

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